Casey's Box
by An Angel in Darkness
Summary: Casey James has a secret box. Some of the Top 10 guys want to know what's inside. What's in the box? What could Casey possibly be hiding? And will the crazed fangirls ever give up? Find out in this hilarious American Idol Season 9 FanFiction!
1. Voting

HELLO FRIENDS! Welcome to the NEW "How to Improve Your Screaming in 6 Easy Steps!" I guarantee that this Fic will be as good, if not, better!!

I want to make sure readers really like this story, so i'm asking you to help me build it!

The plot is simple: Casey James has a secret box. Some of the Top 10 guys want to know what's inside. Casey won't tell them, so they have to figure it out for themselves.

What i need readers to do is pick the characters! You can choose from any of the Top 10 guys, except Casey James, to fill these spots...

**The Smart, Optimistic One who gives good advice**

**The Popular One fangirls always chase**

**The one who always gets dissed/teased**

**The Perv/"Bad Boy" **

**The Stupid One **

...So, either PM me or leave a review stating who you want to be in the story!

I MIGHT not include all of these positions if i think its too much of a crowd.

**NOTE: I will NOT write this story until i get at least 5 reviews/PMs. **

Thanks in advance for voting and remember....VOTE VOTE VOTE!!!!


	2. The Plan

**A/N: I am so incredibly excited for this Fic! I am optimistic for its future, and I really can't wait for everyone to read it! Enjoy!!!!**

* * *

(Backstage at American Idol semi-finals stage. Tim Urban, Andrew Garcia, Aaron Kelly, Alex Lambert, and Jermaine Sellers are all hanging out.)

Tim: Holy fucking crap…

Andrew: What happened?

Tim: I just got the weirdest phone call ever!

Alex: Who was it from?

Aaron: Oh, no, don't tell me it was from another one of your crazed fangirls!

Tim: Well…

Aaron: What is that, the thirty seventh one?

Alex: Dude, you have GOT to share…

Andrew: I don't understand what those girls find so great about you. No offense, but you're not that popular with the judges, and out of all of us, you don't have the best voice.

Jermaine: I know exactly what they find so appealing!

Aaron: Enlighten us.

Jermaine: It's cuz Tim's so hot!

Tim: WHOA! I'm WHAT?

Jermaine: Hot…you know, good-looking, sexy, that whole thing!

Alex: Are you gay?

Jermaine: No, I just get where these girls are coming from!

Andrew: No, you're gay.

Tim: Agreed.

Jermaine: FINE I'M BI, OKAY! Just leave me alone!

Aaron: Well, on that…weird note, I know I'm going to regret asking this, but Tim, what did your fangirl say?

Tim: First of all, it was a HE, not a she.

(Everyone looks at Jermaine.)

Jermaine: I'm innocent!

Tim: It wasn't Jermaine. It was this guy named Adam, and he invited me over to his house so a threesome with his boyfriend Kris.

(Awkward silence.)

Alex: So…are you gonna take the offer?

Tim: No fucking way! Why the hell would I?

Alex: Cuz Adam's my cousin. He's cool, I'd totally look into it.

Aaron: BAD MENTAL IMAGES!!! AAAAHHH!!!!

Andrew: Wait, Alex, are you saying that your cousin is THE Adam Lambert, and his boyfriend is THE Kris Allen?

Alex: No way! Why the hell does everyone think we're related?

Jermaine: You have the same last name.

Alex: Oh, well I guess I have to get a new last name…Anyway, its just that I have this cousin named Adam and he's always up to this kinda stuff. Screwing random people, being horny, it's kind of like his thing.

Aaron: THAT'S WHAT HE SAID!

Andrew: Aaron!

Aaron: What?

Andrew: There are children here!

Tim: Where?

Andrew: Sorry, I'm a parent. It's my job to yell at people. Sorry, won't happen again!

(Casey enters.)

Casey: Hey guys! What's up?

Alex: We're talking about Tim's crazed fangirls! I mean, guys…wait no, I mean-

Andrew: Let's just go with fans!

Tim: Girls, guys, whoever they are, they are really driving me insane!

Jermaine: But you have to admit it, Tim, that threesome did sound pretty inviting!

Tim: Never!

Casey: Oh, Tim, I know exactly how you feel.

(Casey stares dreamily into space.)

Casey: You know, I have a crazed fangirl, too. She a cougar; beautiful, experienced, and a real animal in bed.

Aaron: Kara?

Casey: I've had the pleasure.

Andrew: Her husband is going to flip out…

Casey: Well, I'm sure we can keep it a secret. It's a real shame I couldn't keep that box a secret, though. God, if anyone ever found out what was in there…

Jermaine: Wait, so you're saying there's something really important in that box?

Casey: Yep. Heavy shit.

Aaron: Well, we're all friends, Casey! Tell us what's in the box!

Casey: No way! I'm not telling! How stupid do you think I am?

Jermaine: That's a rhetorical question, right?

Casey: If you gave me a million dollars to tell you what was in that box, I wouldn't take the deal!

Alex: Wow…

Andrew: Yeah, that's really serious.

Casey: Totally. Well, I gotta go see Kara. She told me to meet her in Simon's mansion after the show.

Tim: Why Simon's mansion?

Casey: She wants to have sex in his bed to piss him off!

Alex: Good plan!

Casey: Well, I gotta go! See you guys tomorrow!

(Casey leaves.)

Jermaine: We're gonna find out what's in that box, right?

Alex: Totally! I'm in!

Andrew: Hold on! Are you guys crazy? We can't just go around snooping!

Aaron: Yes, we can.

Tim: He has a point!

Andrew: Well, don't you think it's a waste of time? Considering Casey's intelligence level, which is a only fraction above zero, do you guys really think he's hiding something worth looking for?

Jermaine: Well, Mr. Smart-Ass, what if it's all an act! What if Casey's an evil mastermind out to destroy us all?

Andrew: I really don't think-

Alex: No. You don't. HAHAHA! Great joke, right? Huh? Huh? You agree?

(Cricket noises.)

Alex: Fine…

Jermaine: I think if Casey's so defensive about the box, there's gotta be something really important in there!

Aaron: I agree with Jermaine. I say we try to figure it out!

Tim: I'm in, too. All that sneaking around will keep me away from my fangirls, or guys, or…whatever!

(Everyone looks at Andrew.)

Andrew: Fine, I guess I'm out ruled. I'll help you out. I have to say, I'm really curious!

Jermaine: So it's settled?

Tim: Yeah, we just need a plan! Andrew?

Andrew: All right, I'll think of something. Just gave me until after the results show.

Aaron: Team SuperAwesomeCoolness: Assemble!

Alex: No! I wanna be the Nanobot Clowns!

Jermaine: NO way! We're the Onesie Lovers!

Tim: We can discuss Team names later. For now, I think we should just go back to the hotel and get some sleep.

Andrew: Agreed. See you guys tomorrow.

(They all leave.)


	3. The Friendship Circle

The Friendship Circle

(idol backstage. Jermaine is crying and a camera is trying to interview him. The rest of the guys are behind the cameraman, watching.)

Jermaine: (through tears) it's just so...emotional.

(he pauses and takes a dramatic breath.)

Jermaine: it's like all the hard work you've done has just... gone to waste. I hate to leave, I mean everyone, the vocal coaches, the camera people, the judges, and my dear fellow contestants, are all so nice. They care about this show, and it's just like this big happy family.

(Jermaine goes into hysterical crying.)

Cameraman: thank you, Jermaine, for that interview. I think we have all we need.

(he leaves.)

Andrew: aw, man, I'm so sorry you have to go!

(Alex wipes a tear away.)

Alex: that was quite the speech you gave. I'm gonna miss you man!

(Alex goes to hug Jermaine. Jermaine slaps him, suddenly stops crying, and gets his usual energy back.)

Alex: hey! What was that for?

Jermaine: drop the act, Alex.

Aaron: what act? We can be sad to see you go?

Tim: yeah! You've given us a lot of laughs, Jermaine. You're a great guy and we really are gonna miss you!

Jermaine: what? Am I dying or something? Get a hold of yourselves!

(Jermaine grabs Aaron's shirt.)

Jermaine: now, promise me you'll do all you can to get to that box!

Aaron uhh...sure?

(Jermaine let's go of Aaron.)

Jermaine: stay strong, men! Eyes on the prize! Casey has a secret box and I hope none of you will rest before you know what's in it! Promise me that you will give all the blood, sweat, and tears humanly possible to get to that box!

Andrew: don't you think you're taking this a bit too far?

Jermaine: too far? TOO FAR? No. Seacrest takes things way too far. He takes him an hour to announce the four names of the eliminated contestants! THAT is taking something way too far!

(Casey walks by.)

Casey: hey, guys. What are we talking about?

Alex: we're talking about our secret plan to destroy you and we don't want you to hear anything.

Casey: oh, well that makes sense!

(Casey walks away.)

Jermaine: look at him, the douche bag! Shame, Shame...so, are we gonna take him DOWN?

(silence.)

Jermaine: that's the part where you guys scream "YEAH!" really enthusiastically.

Tim: just give it up, Jermaine.

Aaron: yeah, forget Casey for a night. It's your last night in LA. Let's do something.

Jermaine: Okay...I have an idea!

* * *

(chuck E cheese. Kids are running around, the noise level is very high, and the guys all look miserable except for Jermaine, who seems to be enjoying it.)

Jermaine: aaah, I love this place!

(some random kid throws up right in front of Jermaine.)

Tim: (sarcastically) oh yeah, this is heaven.

Alex: hey, I kinda like it here!

Aaron: of all the places in LA...

Andrew: we could have gone to dinner, or a nightclub, or-

Aaron: or a strip club!

(everyone looks at Aaron.)

Andrew: you...dirty little boy!

Alex: yeah, dude, you're like David Archuleta 2.

Tim: you're supposed to be a sweet little angel who never does anything wrong! You're not even old enough to go to a strip club!

Aaron: hey, I'm a guy. There are sexy women. Does it really matter how old I am?

Andrew: wow...I was not expecting that.

(all of a sudden, the guys see Casey.)

Casey: WOOO! high score!

Andrew: Casey?

(Casey comes over.)

Casey: hey! You guys like Chuck E. Cheese, too?

Aaron: I thought you were, you know, sexing it up with Kara.

Jermaine: yeah, what happened to Simon's bed?

Casey: I went to Simon's mansion, just like she said, and when I walked in, Kara and Simon were...intimate...

(everyone looks confused.)

Casey: I mean, REALLY intimate, like Kara-was-giving-Simon-a-blowjob intimate. So I left and came here!

Andrew: I could have lived without hearing that.

Tim: well, that's mental scarring the shit out of me right now!

Alex: not a pretty picture!

Casey: not at all.

(a guy in a Chuck E. Cheese mascot costume on comes over.)

Chuck: hey, friends! How about we make a friendship circle?

Aaron: what's a friendship circle?

Chuck: Its where a group of friends get together and talk about their feeling and share secrets and everything! Doesn't that sound fun?

Andrew: no.

Chuck: well, too bad! My boss is forcing me to do this! So everyone make a circle and let's share some secrets!

Tim: kill me now...

Alex: YAY! Friendship circle!

(Awkward silence.)

Alex: what?

(Everyone ignores him and forms a friendship circle. Some random little kids have also joined.)

Chuck: so, friends, let's start with this guy over here!

(points to a random little kid. Aaron whispers something to Andrew.)

Aaron: this isn't going to work! We need to get out of here!

Andrew: no, we don't. This is a good thing.

Aaron: what the hell? Have all of these puke fumes gone to your head?

Andrew: calm down. This is a good thing. When it's Casey's turn, I'll can suggest he tell us about the box. He's so stupid he'll think it's just for the friendship circle, and tell us everything.

Aaron: do you really think that will work?

Andrew: no, but we don't exactly have any other hope.

Chuck: Boys! Pay attention!

Andrew/Aaron: Sorry...

Chuck: Now, back to the circle. It's your turn now! (points to Tim)

Tim: okay, so my name is Tim and my secret is that it...uh...kinda rained in my basement a little when that Adam guy called me.

Chuck: rained in your basement? What do you mean by that?

Tim: well, I kinda, sorta...well, I-

Jermaine: TIM EJACULATED!

Tim: yes. Thanks for explaining.

(There is an audible gasp.)

Andrew: Tim! I am shocked!

Alex: I am SO telling him!

Tim: geez! Don't blame me! blame my penis!

Random Kid: Ha! Ha! Ha! Mommy! That guy named Tim over there ejaculated! Whatever that means...

Chuck: MOVING ON! (points to Casey) Your turn.

Andrew: hey Casey! Tell us about that box you have backstage!

Casey: oh! That's a great idea!

Aaron: Yes!

Alex: yeah, tell us about the box!

Casey: sure. Okay, well, the box is full of condoms for Kara and I!

Jermaine: HOLY SHIT! I mean, that's a BIG-ASS box!

Casey: not really. I have one twice the size at home!

Alex: that's a lot of sex!

Aaron: I can't believe a camera man caught you with it! You'd probably be disqualified if anyone found out!

Casey: wait, a cameraman caught me with the box?

Andrew: yeah, it was half the subject of your taps before you performed!

Casey: oh, THAT box!

Alex: huh?

Casey: I was talking about that small box Kara gave me after the show last night. You know the one with the sexy note on it?

Tim: I never saw that box. We were talking about your video box.

Casey: oh! There's no way in hell I'm ever telling you what's in THAT box! Retards...

Aaron: well that plan failed miserably!

(Casey's phone rings. He picks it up.)

Casey: it's a text from Kara! She says she's ready to use what's in the box. See you guys later, I gotta go!

(Casey leaves.)

Jermaine: starting from scratch again?

Andrew: yep.

Alex: this sucks...

(a crowd of Random kid's mothers go up to Chuck E. Cheese.)

Mom#1: why is my six-year-old child telling me that someone ejaculated?

Mom#2: that is highly inappropriate language for a place where "a kid can be a kid!"

Mom#3: we are prepared to sue Chuck E. cheese for terrorizing our children!

All other moms: YEAH!!!!

Jermaine: hey, they scream yeah, but you don't?

Chuck: don't blame me! (points to Tim.) Blame his penis!

Mom#4: GET HIM!

(All mothers rush to trample Tim, who screams in panic.)


	4. Crackheads

Crackheads

(American Idol rehearsal space. Vocal coaches are running through songs with contestants. Aaron sits down by Tim and Alex, who are looking over their lyrics.)

Aaron: so did you guys think of any plans to get to the box?

Tim: Nah. I've been working really hard to make everything pleasurable. I don't want my looks to be the selling point.

Alex: That's what he said!

(Aaron and Tim looked annoyed.)

Alex: I'm sorry! I couldn't help myself! You know how that stuff gets me going!

Aaron: That's-

Tim: DONT COMMENT!

Aaron: Sorry...

Alex: Speaking of the box, I did think about our team name.

Tim: what's your great idea, Bananaman?

Alex: I think we should be called the Crackheads!

(Silence.)

Aaron: the Crackheads?

Alex: What? Were using our HEADS to CRACK the mystery of the box! What's so bad about that?

Tim: Gee, I don't know, maybe the fact that it makes us sound like DRUGGIES!?

Alex: What? Crack? There's nothing TOO bad about crack! It just makes you hallucinate and make love to mops. I've done WAY worse!

Aaron: You've smoked crack?

Alex: crack, pot, it's all the same shit. Why do you think I'm so tired-looking all the time?

Tim: Because you're a quiet person...

Alex: nope! After you get high, you're all depressed and tired. So then you have more! That's kind how we crackheads roll...

Tim: I can't believe this! I really don't know what to say... Aaron, can you help me out here?

Aaron: you had sex with a mop? Is that even possible?

Tim: that's not the point here! Get a grip, man! FOCUS!

Alex: no, see, my cousin Adam's boyfriend Kris was cheating on him with a mop! His name was Moppy!

Aaron: cool! I've never heard that before!

Tim: am I the only one who's freaking out here?

Aaron: I have got to meet your cousin one day!

Alex: yeah, totally! He's flying in next week for-

Tim: WAIT just a goddamn minute! Do you mean to tell me that you, your cousin, and your cousin's boyfriend all smoke crack?

Alex: oh, no, Adams trying to quit! The heroins pretty heavy, so both is too much.

Tim: I can't believe this...

(Andrew rushes into the room.)

Andrew: Guys, you are NEVER going to believe this!

Aaron: what happened?

Andrew: I have the perfect plan to get the box away from Casey!

Alex: cool! What's the plan?

Andrew: we'll make Casey an offer he can't resist! We're going to ask him exactly what he likes, and we'll get it for him. Then we'll say he can only have it if he let's us see what's in the box!

Aaron: great plan!

Alex: yeah, that could totally work!

Aaron: what are we giving him?

Andrew: I don't know yet. I'm thinking we'll casually ask him what he likes so we make sure he gets exactly what he wants!

Aaron: okay, sounds cool!

Andrew: what do you think, Tim?

Tim: (still stunned.) Alex is a freaking crackhead!!!

Andrew: (sarcastically) oh yeah, and his cousin's boyfriend cheated on him with a mop!

Tim: HE DID! Holy crap! How'd you know?

Andrew: uhh...

Aaron: don't pay any attention to him, he suffered brain damage when those mothers almost murdered him at Chuck E. Cheese.

Andrew: aah, I see...

Tim: WTF!

(Casey comes by. He is talking on the phone.)

Casey: oh, no! I'm so sorry! Oh, I can't believe this happened! Okay, it was nice knowing you Jorgey...

(Casey hangs up the phone.)

Casey: this sucks.

Andrew: what's up?

Aaron: who's Whore-Gay?

Casey: my crack dealer is moving to Venezuela!

Tim: what? You too? What is this world coming to?

Andrew: why is your crack dealer moving to Venezuela?

Casey: his stalker keeps violating the restraining order. So Jorgey's brother Pedro told the stalker that Jorgey was hit by a subway, but now nobody's dealing with Jorgey because they believe he's dead...

Alex: hey! My cousin's dealer's name was Jorgey too! But he was hit by a subway, so it can't be the same guy!

(everyone looks at Alex.)

Alex: what?

Andrew: so, wait a second. What you're saying is that now you don't have a way to get crack?

Casey: yeah! I can't survive without my drugs! Kara likes me  
better when I'm high!

Aaron: Casey, say we found a way to get you a crapload of crack...

Casey: that would be awesome!

Andrew: if we do that, would you, say, give us a reward?

Casey: sure. anything for you!

Aaron: so we'd be able to see what's in the box?

Casey: hey, if you get me my crack, ill worship the ground you walk on!

Andrew: Interesting...

(Vocal Coach walks over.)

Vocal Coach: hey, Casey. We need to hear your final run-through for Wednesday night.

Casey: yeah, sure. I'll be right there. (to guys) Sorry guys, I gotta go!

(Vocal Coach leaves with Casey.)

Andrew: we need some crack!

Aaron: yep. Hey, Alex. Who's your dealer?

Tim: does anyone else find smoking illegal drugs morally wrong? Or am I the only one with any common sense?

Andrew: shut up, Tim. This is our only chance to get to the box!

Aaron: yeah, either stop complaining or your out of the Rabid Ninja Squirrels!

Alex: no! Aaron! We're the crackheads, remember!

Andrew: but I wanted to be Triple A!

Tim: where does that leave me?

Aaron: you quit, remember?

Tim; no, I didn't quit! I'll stop complaining, just don't kick me out.

Andrew: fine. We won't.

Aaron: now, Alex, who's your dealer?

Alex: well, right now my cousin is getting double from his dealer and sharing with me. So, we have to go to him!

Andrew: so, your cousin's name is Adam, right?

Alex: yep. Adam Lambert.

Aaron: I still can't believe your cousin doesn't get confused with the other one!

Alex: there's another Adam Lambert?

(everyone looks at Alex.)

Alex: what?


End file.
